22 December 2023

As the South African sun colours the horizon with strokes of burnt orange, I find a comforting solace in a kaleidoscope of photographs scattered across my desk. Each image is a captured burst of joy, an artefact of laughter and affection forever preserved. The memory of love and warmth is frozen in time.

My fingers trace the edges of a cherished photograph, taken a year ago. There we stand, you and I, with our red Father Christmas hats and bright smiles forming a shield against the bittersweet farewell that awaited us.

This year, once more, a digital Christmas awaits us. Yet, with a heart made wiser by time, I know precisely where to direct my yearning. For a brief, magical period, I was part of your world, an experience that has since enriched every Christmas celebration with greater meaning.

My gaze is glued to the computer screen eagerly awaiting the moment it will burst into life with your images, promising to dissolve the continents between us with a simple mouse click.

Memories of last year’s magical Christmas are still vivid in my mind.

I fondly recall the gentle ping from my inbox, carrying an invitation across the sea: “Dear mom, please visit us. Check your bank account, the journey is ours to share. We would love to have you here for Christmas.”

The excitement of that moment still lingers, the joy of a promise fulfilled — a white Christmas in America, your world that was once unknown to me, now a part of me.

The journey was not just a crossing of continents but of life chapters. It was a voyage that mapped the contours of change. Exactly four years and twenty-six days ago: a gulf of time since our last embrace on South African soil.

Yes, the financial strain is real — flights during the festive season are a luxury, and the hidden costs like travel insurance and health precautions add up. The long wait for a visa and a new passport is a further challenge.

But travel, I’ve learned, is an investment of the heart, bridging the distance between families scattered across the world. Venturing through the vast, unfamiliar airport spaces was daunting for a novice traveller like me. Every long hour of layovers, every moment of jet-lagged exhaustion, and each constricted aeroplane seat faded against the joy of our impending Christmas reunion.

Your world is starkly different from the sun-bathed hues of my world.

It smelled of pine and the crisp embrace of winter, a sensorial contrast to the dry African air I know so well. The snow, a pristine blanket of white, introduced me to its quiet beauty — a biting cold and a thrilling novelty to my sun-kissed senses.

As I crossed the threshold of your home, it felt as if I stepped into another world. A home that was undeniably yours. The walls and spaces were an echo of your experiences, a narrative of your growth and your expansive journeys. It was a home that bore the unmistakable imprint of your essence.

You welcomed me with open arms.

In your warm embrace, my role gently shifted. Where once I led, I now walked beside you; where I once taught, I now stood in awe of your wisdom. I was a cherished guest, learning to navigate the intricate balance of a transformed parental role and adapting to the rhythms of your new lives. The transition was marked by pride and wonder at the special human being you’ve become.

The festive spirit was alive with the soft shimmer of snowflakes and the experience of unfamiliar festive traditions. It was a celebration of change, growth, and enduring love that stretches across any divide. Our bond, I realised, was not confined by geography.

Laughter, heartfelt conversations, silent understandings — these were the treasures of my visit. It was about reliving memories and creating new ones in the context of your world which is now beautifully and independently yours.

It’s a powerful reminder that your life continues to unfold in new and unexpected ways, while our bond remains unwavering — altered, perhaps, but ever resilient. This Christmas, like the many before, is etched into my memory, continuously shaping our ever-evolving family story.

As my visit drew to a close, the familiar intermingling of sadness and joy came to the fore — the bittersweet farewell so familiar to those of us who hold dear the bonds that span vast distances. In the quiet moments of departure, I found the deepest sense of connection — a paradox intimately understood by those of us who love across continents.

Now, as another festive season is upon us the reality of our separation reasserts itself. Yet, as we prepare ourselves for a virtual Christmas, technology, our ally, ties together a celebration that spans the globe. In this new normal, screens are our windows to each other’s worlds, offering precious glimpses into the world we’ve built apart, yet somehow together.

In this quiet moment before our call connects, I reflect on the richness of these experiences — I am enveloped by the love that knows no bounds.

I am poised to embrace this kind of Christmas connection, one that transcends the physical to touch the very essence of our souls. Our virtual gathering will be a fusion of past and present, laughter and shared stories, echoing through the fibre-optic lifelines that bind us.

The gifts you have sent from afar are nestled beneath my Christmas tree, each one a chapter of our family’s journey. Today, I eagerly await not just seeing your faces but immersing myself in your world through the digital echoes on my screen.

The soft chime of my inbox announces your digital arrival as you appear on the screen:

“Merry Christmas, Mom!”

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